Ziv Avod shares after the wedding: "The relationship is not the same relationship"

The nightmare that began in the shelter at the Nova festival ended with an emotional ceremony under the chuppah: a little over a week after they were married, Elia Cohen and Ziv Avod gave their first interview as a married couple. The two told Ofira Ohana-Sari what love looks like after 505 days of captivity, how they deal with the traumas that continue to accompany them in their daily routine, what has changed in their relationship since the emotional reunion, and how they turned their personal story into a mission of public diplomacy around the world.

Ziv shared about the change in her beloved since he returned from captivity: "He has changed for the better, as a partner, as a man, as a love. The relationship is not the same relationship. It is a relationship that is very different, that you appreciate more. But as a couple, I think each of us took the time to really think about how we can change this relationship that existed before."

Elia added about the relationship and the changes they went through: "In terms of our relationship, in the end, she and I have the same arguments that every couple has. But we have a very important ingredient, which is appreciation for each other and appreciation for life as well. Not to forget for one moment what I thought on the day she wasn't by my side and I was sure I wouldn't return to her. So we break these things down and there are arguments. So today we stop for a second to breathe and return to the conversation, maybe a little calmer, more peaceful, so as not to say words that will hurt too much."

How is the relationship different from what it was before the kidnapping? Ziv: "Definitely, we appreciate more. This right, this thing that you know that nothing is taken for granted, probably more than an average person, is something that makes you love much more and use every second and every moment differently. Look, we talk all the time about emotion and thoughts."

Has he recovered? Ziv: "It's a difficult process. But it's a process we chose to go through together."

Ziv, he planned to propose long before October 7th and you didn't know? "I found out about it after he was kidnapped. Like every day during the war to bring him home, I was in an interview. During the ten-second commercial break, his mother told the host that he had planned it and already had a ring. And then a countdown of ten, nine begins, and I have to go back on air."

How did you react? Ziv: "I cried, I didn't know what to do, and right after that I had to reset myself for a second because we went back on air."

Elia, in captivity you didn't know if she was alive or not. The officer actually told you in your ear that your parents and your partner were waiting for you in the room. What goes through your mind? "At the wedding, we read a blessing to each other, and I defined it like a goal by Messi in the 92nd minute into the top corner."

Why were you so sure she was murdered? Elia: "When the terrorists took me out, they went in and verified the kill on everyone. It's something we saw with our own eyes, everyone who was in the van, and she was inside. A second before I left, I also met with Omer Shem-Tov, who was a bit more connected to the media. He told me some things he had already heard about the shelter, and I asked him if he had heard about Ziv, and he told me, 'I haven't heard anything about Ziv.' It took me to the hardest thoughts. He signed off for me that I was going out to the worst scenario I had prepared myself for — that is who I am going to meet."

Does the hell you went through, each in their own way, meet you in daily life? Elia: "Definitely, it can manifest in noises that scare me, in jumping at night, it can manifest in a great many things."

You were 505 days in captivity. Tell us about the moments of breaking. When did you feel that was it, everything is closing in on you and the chance to get out doesn't exist? Elia: "I am a believer, so for me to break in the sense of 'I won't get out home' didn't exist. To tell myself 'that's it, it's over, give up, raise your hands,' that wasn't there. My biggest moments of difficulty were precisely on dates related to Ziv. Whether it was a trip we planned to fly together, or her birthday, it's a feeling of where I should have been and where I am now."

Ziv, what was hard for you? "They put us through a lot of psychological terror that we had to deal with as families. That these moments were the hardest, hardest moments, because you don't know. Even if you know something very, very small about Elia from the outside, you don't know what happened a minute later. Every day was the day, but the day I really remember as one that broke me was when Eli Sharabi and Or Levy were released, and I knew that Elia was with them."

How do you make a living? Elia: "We give lectures around the world and we try to do the best public diplomacy we can. Until the wedding, we would go anywhere in the world to confront any person in the world who thinks something wrong about Israel, and that is what we have been doing until now."

Do you manage to change their perception? Elia: "Definitely."

When you travel the world, do you appear before Jews or also non-Jews? And if non-Jews, how are the reactions to October 7th? Elia: "There are people who don't really know what happened, it broke my heart. When I saw with my own eyes people who talk to me and don't talk to me with facts, but talk to me about lies they heard, videos they encountered on TikTok, these are moments when you realize that it is not simple. But this is a setup for a spike, because we have the evidence. Many times I met people I talked to and suddenly they didn't even know what the Nova was. People who told me that the State of Israel on October 7th entered the Gaza Strip and started murdering people."

How do you react to them? Elia: "Calmly, with pleasure. In the end, facts speak. And when you show facts, people listen."

What to wish you? "Peace in the home, happiness, peace of mind, that there will be a calm year, a boring year."