"Either we separate or I will commit suicide": domestic violence is increasing - complaints are decreasing

A survey published in 2024 in collaboration with the Ministry of Welfare, the Ministry of Internal Security, and the Central Bureau of Statistics found that about 142,000 women experienced physical violence from their partner, and only less than half of them — about 41% — sought assistance.

The gap between the scope of the phenomenon and reporting it is also prominent in other data: in 2023, about 17,000 people were registered in social service departments as having needs in the field of domestic violence, only about 11.6% of all those who reported in the survey about severe physical violence at home.

"My brothers told me that I am in an abusive relationship"

Hanna (50) used to stay in the public park every morning after dropping off her ten children at their frameworks, and wait for them to finish. She had no work or errands, and sometimes no money in her pocket. "The main thing is not to be at home," she says. "I was afraid to be alone with him."

Orlit (58) was also afraid of her husband. When she worked as a cashier at a supermarket, he used to follow her and check if she talked to men, and got angry if he discovered she had served them. "Sometimes the anger would turn into 'punishments'," she shares. "He would decide that he would not do the shopping for the house or refrain from preparing food for the three children while I was working."

Both with Hanna and Orlit, what happened inside the house remained inside. Hanna did not seek help, and Orlit did not even know how to call what she went through violence. "I went to my nephew's enlistment party, even though my husband did not want me to go," Orlit says. "When I returned, I discovered that he had locked me out of the house. In embarrassment, I called my brothers, and they told me that I am in an abusive relationship."

The husband continued to control her even after the divorce

Like many other women, Hanna and Orlit continued to fight for the home, raise children, and go out to work, while behind the door a reality existed that no one from the outside saw. "The possibility of life without him scared me," says Orlit. "He would return and tell me that if I leave I will remain alone, that the children will be hungry and that no one will love me. I believed him."

Hanna's husband continued to scare and control her even after the divorce. "For 10 years he did not give me a get (divorce). I issued a restraining order against him, and he violated it," she shares. For a long period, they would call her in the small hours of the night, and in one of the calls she heard on the other side of the line: "I see you now, I am following you."

Pnina, 69 years old, a mother of three children, suffered severe violence from her father when she was a child. Throughout her childhood, she dreamed of fixing the circumstances of her life, getting married, and establishing a warm and loving home of her own. "For a start, he was a good husband," she shares, "but after a while, he started to threaten, humiliate, and hit. I had to undergo surgery because of an injury he caused me." She tells with pain about the day the situation escalated: "One evening he took out a gun and threatened me. I understood that this is a turning point, that I cannot continue living like this, it is either we separate or I will commit suicide."

"They didn't let me laugh - so I wanted to make others laugh"

The decision of Orlit, Hanna, and Pnina to leave seemed like the finish line, but it was only the first step in a long-term process of coping. Orlit gained confidence to decide about her life herself, Hanna went to study at the university, and Pnina started to complete what she felt she was denied for years: to study, to paint, to travel, and even became a medical clown. "They didn't let me laugh," she says, "so I wanted to make others laugh."

At a certain stage, the paths of the three met in the "Women Breaking Silence" group of the Welfare Division in Jerusalem, a project that combines art as a therapeutic tool and accompanies the participants until the creation of a "spoken word" performance, based on their life stories. At first, they simply sat and talked, then started to write, and thus the stories that each of them kept for years turned into texts and poems.

"I wish I was as strong as I wanted, that I wouldn't tremble, be silent, be afraid. That I would dare to tell him: 'Trash, be ashamed, you sowed thorns instead of pure, you destroyed trust and family'," Orlit reads with excitement at the final performance.

Increase in violence cases but decrease in reports

Orlit, Hanna, and Pnina managed to get out of the cycle of violence, but outside the hall where they performed with pride, the phenomenon is far from disappearing. In discussions held in the Knesset at the beginning of 2026, data were presented according to which 46 women were murdered in Israel during 2025, a record number in the last decade. According to a position paper submitted to the Committee for the Advancement of the Status of Women, 82% of the murder cases were against the background of domestic violence, but only 36% of the murder victims had previously filed a complaint with the police.

The war period also had an impact: between October 2023 and April 2024, 4,565 inquiries were received regarding domestic violence, compared to 2,760 in the corresponding period the previous year. At the same time, the Ministry of Welfare's data show that with the outbreak of the war, there was actually a decrease in inquiries to help lines and centers, meaning that in a war period there can be an exacerbation of risk and violence, and at the same time a decrease in seeking help.

The Jerusalem Municipality stated: "The 'Women Breaking Silence' group was established four years ago as part of the Welfare Division's activity, and is accompanied by a social worker. In 2025, about 650 women were treated in the division against the background of domestic violence, and in 2026 similar volumes have been recorded so far. Today, four regional centers for the treatment and prevention of domestic violence operate in the city, providing a response to women, men, and children."

Advocate Vardit Avidan, director of the legal-therapeutic system in the Division for the Advancement of the Status of Women at WIZO: "We must build a sequence that starts with prevention and early detection and continues with protection during times of danger, but does not stop there. Significant investment is required in long-term rehabilitation: economic independence, employment, housing, legal accompaniment, support for children, and reconnection to the community. The goal is not only to help the woman leave, but to enable her to remain outside the cycle of violence and build an independent and safe life.

Alongside this, a real coordination of state systems is required. Today, the data are scattered between the police, welfare, health, and justice, and there is no full national picture. For 13 years, WIZO published the violence index in an attempt to centralize these data, and in 2025 we decided to stop the index to clarify that measuring violence against women cannot be the responsibility of a social organization, but of the state. Without consolidated data, it is impossible to identify early, build policy, invest correctly, and also know if the rehabilitation processes are really successful."