The real Hollywood is the Tree of Life of the Holy Torah

A decade ago, Rotem Zisman-Cohen was on her way to becoming a big star. She already had an impressive resume, had done auditions abroad, and was convinced that if she packed her bags and moved to Los Angeles, the sky was the limit. But then, at the age of 32, she faced a choice that changed her life: Hollywood or motherhood. Since then, she left Tel Aviv, covered her head, moved away from the spotlight, and built with her husband of the last 18 years, actor Moris Cohen, a completely different life in Zichron Ya'akov. Now, just after celebrating her 44th birthday, she feels that something in her has changed. "I have gathered strength and I can go out more and not be afraid," she says on the podcast "Spill It" with Lilach Markovitch.

— And now you feel that this is your time? After many years that you were at home?

— The children still need me very much, but I feel that perhaps the people of Israel also need me very much. So I am returning, yes.

— In what sense?

— I don't know, I don't dictate to myself. I feel that if things happen, that is, if you invited me and suddenly there is some series that I wrote and it starts to happen, suddenly people talk about me more, then I say, 'Okay, there is some instruction here that maybe I should follow and go with the flow,' because I am not afraid to say that I am a person who can indeed influence, and influence very strongly.

— How does this fit with the return to religion? This desire?

— Everything I do, I always think about holiness. That is, I also think less about myself. It wouldn't matter to me now if I come to do this podcast with you or not. If I need to be here, then I am here. If I have something to say that someone should hear and they need to hear it, then I am probably here for a reason. Instead of 'Come see me, what a stunning actress I am, wow, I am the most talented, I am the best, every role I take,' it became — 'Okay. The Creator gave me cards, I am a good actress, I know how to speak, I know how to host, this is what He gave me, I don't deny it.' And it's not from a place of pride, God forbid, it's from a place of, well, these are the cards I have, and with them I play. This is called false humility, it is missing the goal for which you came into the world. That is, if I am here and I have these cards, I will play with them. But I will play now from a different place, from a place that is ordered differently in my head.

Zisman-Cohen, who only now sent her children to Haredi summer camps, grew up in a completely secular home in Migdal HaEmek, but already at age 6 she remembers asking existential questions about the world. "Why am I here and what am I doing here. It is always a process of repentance, it is not something that happens in an instant."

— And only when you are already married do you decide to make this change fully?

— Even before I met Moris, I always studied and went to lectures, I always was an explorer, wanting to know, and not only Judaism, also transcendental meditation and rebirthing and Buddhism. Still, open my bag, you will see Tehillim, a book by Rabbi Mordechai Sharabi, and a book on how to rewire the brain. It is not a contradiction, I find the light and the Holy One, Blessed be He, in everything.

— Is it easier when it's with your husband, the process?

— Unequivocally. But it is also a process that everyone goes through within themselves. Moris has his process and the path he is going through, and I have mine. Women are also more... if they take something, then they are very much, to the end. A man has many more dreams and aspirations and sometimes he is scattered. Yes, but for that he needs a woman.

After years of attempts, your motherhood came at age 34. "Yes, and I am still full of gratitude. For me, being a mother is one of the most essential things for me as a person. What do you leave here in the world in the end? You go from here and what remains is your offspring, and more offspring, and they will also give birth, so you remain a little in the world. There is something in children, even for me as a woman, that made me feel feminine."

— Is it fulfilling the meaning of being a woman?

— Also. And in me, too, there is naturally something that is more rooted, natural. I feel sometimes wild, although it looks gathered, but something wild. For me, giving birth is being closest to the hand of God during birth.

Her and her husband's process of repentance was indeed shared, but in practice, Rotem moved away from the spotlight while Moris continued to manage a busy schedule. "Someone has to support this whole story," she explains now. "Moris is an excellent actor, that's what he does, he is also an entrepreneur, he does many, many things. So if it comes easily to him and he can do it well, and it is still within the legality of the home, then let him do it."

— And where are you?

— What shall I tell you, sister, want to hear the most honest answer? It bored me at some stage. It was more interesting for me to be at home with the children, to write, to do lessons. I have a lesson once a week at home, it excited me more. Still, personal development, reading, and knowledge excite me more than sitting and waiting for my close-up, how I look, and if I have a wrinkle here, and if I am at an angle, and what the role is, and what they will say about me. It exhausted me at some stage.

— But for years you were in the front. No FOMO?

— There is a desire for love, there is a desire to be seen, it is even addictive. You realize that you are in some loop that never ends, it is like eating a hamburger and then such a hamburger and then such a steak. When do you rest? I felt that I was loved without doing it.

For the couple, who took eight years to bring their eldest daughter, Hadassah-Jacqueline (9), into the world, and later, after additional treatments, their little son Mordechai (4), there is no television at home, and Zisman-Cohen admits that she hasn't watched her husband's work on screen for a long time (proud of him anyway).

— You have two small children, although in religious education, but they are surely exposed more than you.

— They see all kinds of things from the Meir channel for children, but I prefer to give them other content. For me, taking them to nature, taking them to the park, taking them out, we read plenty of books at home.

— Do they know that their parents are famous?

— Hadassah knows that I returned to religion, she always tells me, 'Remember when you wore pants?' But I am not afraid. Mom changed her image. My wiring in the brain changed, so what?

— Are there scenes you see today that you connect with less, or that you would be happy if they hadn't happened?

— No. Everything that happened to me in life brought me to this point where I am sitting here with you at this moment now, you understand? Without this, there is no me. It is layer upon layer upon layer. Every role and every movie I made and every interview I gave and every cover I did brought me to what I am now. It is impossible to erase the past, so I embrace it.

— What happens if the children also want to be actors?

— God forbid, God forbid. Just joking. I don't know.

— What happens if one of the children decides not to follow the path of repentance?

— I pray morning and evening. I think it depends on the parents. First of all, they have their own path. What I can give them — it is the best I can. From here on, it is not under my control. I will pray that they have the 'royal road'. That they do go on this path, because it is a wonderful path. Without confusion, without mess, everything is organized. Shabbat, did you eat meat? No milk. I love this order, I wish them to go in order and holiness. From here and above that, it is already not under your control — but I will do everything. With prayers and what I can. A parent, in the end, what he sees in his child outside, exists within him. If I see that the child suddenly goes off the path or is not strengthening, it is in me.

— I look at you and I can really divide your life. At what point do you feel the change?

— I think it is mainly the moment when I wanted to be a mother, when I had already done some film in Morocco. Of National Geographic, and it opened such a path for me and I started doing plenty of auditions abroad. And Moris and I said, 'Come on, let's pack up, let's go to L.A. a little.' I can succeed greatly, these were exactly those periods when they were looking for the Middle East and the unique, I was ready for Hollywood, really. And the agent from abroad spoke to me and said, 'You need to do this and open this.' Suddenly I felt that on one hand, either I become a mother, kicking and everything and I don't care, or I go for it and say, 'Okay, so at age 37 I will bring one child, two children, even without children,' I had plenty of voices in my head. And I finished the conversation with him and felt that I had to choose at that moment. If I go to L.A., I know I become a mega-star, I know it. I had it, inside me. But it was a choice. These are revolving doors in life. Do I regret it? God forbid. The best thing, the real Hollywood, is the Tree of Life that I encountered, of the Holy Torah.

— You also do Hafrashat Challah (separation of challah).

— I have been doing it since I got married, Hafrashat Challah, and I will also tell something here. The first Hafrashat Challah I did was at the Shabbat Chatan at Moris's parents', and I got 'boards'. And everyone ate and said, 'Good, a sign for the future.' I got such boards, just like matzah. Probably something with the yeast or I don't know, it wasn't good.

— Did you try to turn it into a business?

— I don't know if a business, but it is a kind of tool to influence, because I also come to Hafrashat Challah — it is ten minutes, actually. It is just an excuse to connect like this, to permeate, to connect people together. I believe that my evening is a special evening, it is not an evening of 'I stand and eat your head, and you sit and listen to me,' no. Everyone is part of this evening, everyone talks, it is like a 'chavruta' (study partnership) like that.

— And today you make a living from it?

— Yes, thank God, also.

— But we said that Moris is the financial backer.

— I am also a real estate agent. I got a brokerage license a year ago and I really enjoy it. It is something that is like niche, but it is really fun.

— What item came out about you that you felt was blown up much beyond what happened in reality?

— It happened. It was when Moris and I were supposed to act in a series during the Corona period, and everyone had to be vaccinated and I was less into it and they just published it. I think it was also one of the triggers to be with a head covering in the end, I said, 'Come on, the most honest, I tell you — I am not afraid to say it.' I said, 'No one will decide for me. Only He decides for me.' I said, 'Whoever wants me will take me like this, even religious.'

— And what happened in the end?

— We flew out of the series.

— Because of this decision?

— Yes.

— If they tell you to participate in a reunion of 'Amamiot'?

— With pleasure. But that Ronit returned to religion, my dear. Does Hafrashat Challah. Found a simple, religious man. Of course. Actually, I am in contact with Naor Zion, he tells me from time to time. With pleasure, I know it is a series that makes many people happy. With all the movies I made, all the things I did, and I am Ronit. There is nothing to do, among my people I sit, I am simple, I am not ashamed of it.