Mother of a hostage survivor: "We kept fighting without knowing when or how, but with complete faith"

For a long time, Viki Cohen was required to do the most unnatural thing for a mother whose son is kidnapped: to be silent. "Personally, it took me a very long time until I went to the media," she says. "It happened mainly because they warned and frightened us all the time. They told us that since Nimrod is a soldier, it is better not to talk about him in the media, so that he does not end up like Ron Arad, whose whereabouts remain unknown to this day."

This silence was not new to her. Viki Cohen, mother of Nimrod Cohen — an armored corps soldier who was kidnapped on Simchat Torah 5784 to the Gaza Strip and released after two years in captivity — had already grown up once into a forced silence. That time was personal and family-related; now she returned to it in a completely different shell.

"I am the daughter of a shell-shocked veteran"

"I am the daughter of a shell-shocked veteran," reveals Viki. "My father carries PTSD as a fighter in Operation Kadesh, and for years I was educated to walk on tiptoes at home and not make noise. We always made sure not to make sounds. Even shouts of joy and mischievous sounds of children were off-limits. I grew up into silence and introversion, and it is no wonder that as a child I found myself drifting into the world of drawings. There, there was no one to silence me, and in this sector, I was given freedom and liberty."

What did you draw?

"I don't remember what I drew as a child, but when I talk about the fact that I drew during the period when Nimrod was in captivity, everyone expects to hear that I drew him and my longing for him. But not at all. I drew fantastic characters — colorful and very radiant, even bringing a smile. Characters that do good when you look at them. I am sure that if a graphologist had looked at them, he would have had a lot to say, but for me, they just did good."

"During the two years of captivity, there were also various projects in which my illustrations were incorporated, such as a Passover Haggadah for children, calendars, magnets, and notebooks. They were sold to help us raise funds for activities for the hostages, and mainly gave me satisfaction that at a time when I am unable to do almost anything, my creation does good to the world."

Now, as she looks back, Viki understands that the silence imposed on her as a mother of a hostage was actually no different from the silence she grew up into as a child. The difference is that this time she was not prepared to remain in it until the end.

"I always believed that Nimrod would return home"

When asked if she felt that the Israeli public was by their side all along, the answer was unequivocal: "Certainly, I am full of gratitude to the public that was always with us. Even when we used harsh language and called for strikes, it came only out of immense concern for our children and out of an understanding that it is necessary to activate the ultimate 'doomsday weapon'. This was already after the murder of the six hostages and after the second phase of the deal, in which Nimrod was supposed to be released, exploded. In those days, they started talking about a new deal in which the soldiers would be left behind, and as a mother, I felt that I could no longer stand it."

"In retrospect, I think everything we did was correct and accurate. Our calls and the appeal to the public, all these were pieces of the puzzle that led to the creation of feasibility for signing a deal to end the war and return the hostages."

Did you always believe that Nimrod would return, or were there moments of despair?

"I always believed. Deep down, I believed all the time that there was a higher power that would help me, and I knew that Nimrod, who was kidnapped alive, would return home. But of course, there were many upheavals along the way, like a roller coaster. There were difficult moments of immense disappointment that dropped us literally to the bottom, and we needed a lot of strength to return to faith and hope. But in the end, it happened, because we had no other option. We continued to fight without knowing when it would happen and how, but with the faith that our struggle would surely lead to something."

"Until the last moment, I was afraid that something would happen"

About the day Nimrod returned, Viki says: "It was an unusually exciting day. We arrived in Re'im together with other families. The excitement was at its peak. We felt that we were unable to speak, just wanted to see Nimrod already with us."

Alongside the excitement, Viki notes that there was a terrible fear: "Until the last moment, I was afraid that something would happen, because after all, it is a murderous organization. Who knows if they would decide to keep one soldier for themselves and not return him with everyone?"

"Later it turned out that the deal was split into two. Nimrod was included in the second phase. There was a surreal moment when we spoke with Nimrod on the phone of one of the families. I will never forget this conversation. After it, I felt that I was simply not breathing, until I finally saw him on the screen, when he was talking with one of the IDF officers. Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief and understood that he was in good hands."

What about Nimrod today?

"Nimrod returned to military service, and we encouraged him to do so. He wants to feel that he is completing a significant service, and I also think that this activity helps him get back on track. The period of two years in captivity will always remain a part of him, and it is also a part of us. We will all learn to live alongside it and continue in life. We will move on, because life is stronger than everything, and we are looking only forward."