Disabled and sexy: "How corsets helped me connect to my body"
Ariela was born with a disability and has used crutches for as long as she can remember. Although she knows no other reality, she only truly fell in love with herself and felt desirable and sexy on the day she visited London and tried on a corset for the first time in her life. This item of clothing showed her that she could build a different relationship with her body, a relationship where control returns to her.
"As a disabled woman, one of the things I hear from many others is the sense of disconnection from the body, because it is often a source of discomfort, pain, and something we have no control over. We cannot influence the loss of sensation or the daily physical struggles. Being able to play with lingerie and shape the body through clothing like a corset gives us a sense of control back," says Ariela Goichman Garber, a fashion history researcher and disability visibility activist, who appeared on the "Sex Appeal" podcast.
Ariela was born with Spina Bifida, which led to lifelong nerve degeneration in her lower body. "My right leg doesn't function, I walk with crutches, and I have no sensation in my feet. This led to years of surgeries, orthopedic rehabilitation, and a complex journey regarding self-image and sexuality," she explains.
The Path to Acceptance
When asked when she realized she was "different," Ariela recalls her school years: "In third grade, I wore a ring brace on my legs. It was the mid-90s in Israel, and kids would ask if I was dressed as a robot. That was when I realized my body could be a source of cynicism and sarcasm."
During adolescence, as she compared herself to "more normative" peers, she found no representation in media other than characters like Quasimodo. "It is much harder to present physical disability on screen without turning it into a special dramatic episode. There are very few disabled people who just exist without the need for a flashback to explain their condition."
The Corset as a Tool for Freedom
At age 12, Ariela saw Disney's "Sleeping Beauty" and fell in love not with the princess, but with her corset. "I started digging into history books and discovered that the corset wasn't just a symbol of oppression, as Hollywood often portrays it. Historically, women used it as a tool to reshape their bodies for sports or work. It was a way to reclaim agency over their own silhouette."
The turning point came at 20, when she found a latex corset in London. "I tried it on and saw that my body could stand differently. Even with crutches, my posture became upright, and my body shape changed. It gave me a sense of empowerment I hadn't felt before. I realized that to connect with a partner, I first had to fall in love with myself."
More Than Just Clothing
Ariela emphasizes that lingerie has historically been a tool for marginalized groups. "During World War II, corsets were an identification mark for LGBT men in Berlin. It was their way of communicating and a symbol of identity. Today, seeing people with disabilities in fashion catalogs or on runways is a vital part of recovery. As a social worker once told me: when a child with a disability is dressed like everyone else, people see a child with a disability, not just 'a disabled child.' This is crucial for our sense of independence and belonging."
Today, Ariela is a wife and mother. She calls for a more open dialogue about the sexuality of disabled people, which is often wrongly perceived as "unnatural" or inherently "kinky." "We are people with our own autonomous desires. We need more discourse so that sex education stops being so conservative and limited only to the reproductive system," she concludes.
