"We lost everything, and discovered we have no rights": The new struggle of the hostages' parents

For two years they could not mourn. Every morning Ruby Chen and Alon Nimrodi were forced to get up, stop life as they knew it until that day, leave the house, stand in front of cameras, fly on delegations, meet with decision-makers - and demand one thing: to bring their sons home.

But after their struggle ended with the hardest news of all, the two discovered that as far as the state is concerned, everything they went through still has no name, and it does not know how to translate the disaster they experienced into a clear path of rights.

Ruby, father of Staff Sergeant Itay Chen, and Alon, father of Staff Sergeant Tamir Nimrodi, are part of a small group of families whose loved ones were kidnapped on October 7, held for a prolonged period in Gaza, and finally returned as deceased. Those families, now recognized as bereaved families, are asking the state to create a unique package of rights for the disaster they experienced. "A family that receives the terrible news usually gathers, looks at the walls and asks 'Why me?'. We did not have that option," they say. "We experienced a distorted and prolonged mourning."

Chen and Nimrodi have another common denominator: both are self-employed. "I didn't go to work for one day," says Chen. "I worked on bringing my son back. I had no income for two years, the business is finished. Following the stress, I got shingles, I lost my ability to work. But by law, I am not entitled to any compensation, even though my business turnover dropped by almost 70% from 2023 to 2025." Nimrodi identifies: "For five months I didn't bring a shekel home. There were mornings when I had to get up and go to work, just to put my son aside."

"Recognizing the failure"

Two years of stubborn struggle left their mark on the health and psyche of Chen and Nimrodi. "I was a strong and healthy person," Nimrodi asserts. "One morning I had a herniated disc. From functioning people, we suddenly experienced a collapse, out of nowhere." Chen asked to be recognized as a victim of hostilities and was refused. Nimrodi says that a psychiatrist determined that he is dealing with severe post-trauma, for which he takes pills, but his claim for general disability was rejected on the grounds that he returned to work and has income. "True, I returned to work out of necessity, otherwise who will pay for the deficit I accumulated? For the mortgage? The loans, the alimony?"

In the struggle for recognition, they encounter the same barrier again and again. "'Broad implications' is the pair of words that every legal advisor and official repeats," says Chen. "They tell us: if we give to you, we will have to give to everyone." However, as far as the two are concerned, the exception is the heart of the matter. "Laws are set by precedents," says Chen, "not just like that because the State of Israel wants to grant rights." Nimrodi: "Is October 7 not a precedent? I pay all my life to the National Insurance Institute for exactly such situations. If I am not in a state of distress now, then what is a state of distress?"

As far as they are concerned, the solution is not another point grant. They are demanding that the Knesset change the law and build a "360-degree suit" for the families of the kidnapped deceased. In the employment sphere - real assistance in rehabilitating the business, one from which they can return to earn a living with dignity; in the mental sphere they are asking for a dedicated treatment system, with professionals trained to treat the unique trauma of families who lived for a prolonged period in uncertainty; and in the economic sphere their request is for recognition that will allow for prolonged support following the damage to earning capacity, and not short-term aid that ends just when the family begins to try to recover.

The damage, according to them, goes through the whole family. Nimrodi's youngest daughter, Amit, was 14 on October 7 and stopped going to school. Throughout the struggle she said: "I will return to studies when Tamir returns." When Tamir returned home, her parents asked her to return to the school bench. She replied: 'He returned, but I didn't want him like that'". Chen's eldest son, Roi, who served as an officer on a path that, according to his father, could have become a career of decades, left everything to join the struggle to return his brother. "Today he sits at home. It is clear that their lives have changed from end to end, but the siblings have no envelope."

"It is painful to see that the coalition had time to deal with political and sectoral laws," says Chen in despair. "It turns out that the state has a lot of money to give to other populations that have a lobby. Compared to them, we are transparent."

A legislative attempt supported by Knesset members Yitzhak Kroizer and Gilad Kariv that was intended to recognize them as "victims of kidnapping actions" did not mature, and now they are directing the demand to the next Knesset. "I don't understand why the hell we have to call this a struggle. It turns out that recognizing us is less convenient, it means recognizing a failure."

And what's next?

MK Yitzhak Kroizer (Otzma Yehudit), chairman of the subcommittee for legal, social and economic issues concerning the hostages and their families, stated: "I have set myself the goal of creating for the hostages' families a broad, comprehensive and personalized envelope, to close every gap in existing legislation, and to act in full and cross-party partnership. The struggle for unique recognition and the regulation of the status of kidnapping victims is a complex issue with ethical, legal and budgetary implications. Although not all clauses matured into a final law due to bureaucratic barriers, I will continue to stand by the dear families and press with all my might to ensure for them a full, human, mental and economic envelope."

Advocate Gilad Barnea, an expert in public law and manager of the move: "We are working these days to formulate a comprehensive and complete response that is adapted to the injuries and unique needs of the families of the kidnapped deceased, which are the result of events we have never experienced: the massacre of October 7 and the abandonment on that day and since. We will direct the demand to the government and the Knesset so that they act as their duty and we will do what is required to complete the move as soon as possible so that it will be possible for the families to begin a deep and complex healing process."