The bride who proved it's never too late to get married – and stunned the web
For years, Ayelet Shaul from Rishon LeZion heard the question "How are you still single?" at every family event. Now, at 41, she finally stood under the chuppah, and a video from her wedding went viral. Behind the moment that moved thousands of users lies a story of years of waiting, societal pressure, and a stubborn choice not to compromise just to check a box.
For years, Ayelet Shaul, a resident of Rishon LeZion, heard the question "How are you still single?" and the constant "Soon it will be your turn" at every family event. Now, at 41, she finally stood under the chuppah, and a video from her wedding went viral online. Behind the moment that moved thousands of users lies a story of years of waiting, pressure from the environment, and a stubborn choice not to compromise just to check a box.
Ayelet grew up in Tiberias, and in her early 20s, she moved to the center of the country and started living alone. From her perspective, until then, everything went more or less according to plan: army, a degree in economics, accounting studies at Bar-Ilan University, a steady job, and a career. There remained, supposedly, only a wedding and children, but life took her on a different path.
Already at 20, she was in a relationship with a man who wanted to marry her. Around her, friends were already engaged or married, but she felt that the connection was simply not right for her. Despite the pressure around her, she chose to let go.
In her early 30s, Ayelet was in another relationship that could have led to a wedding. "I remember that guy said to me: 'My father wants you as a bride, let's make him happy.' His father was dying. I answered him: 'I will not be an unhappy bride. I am not getting married to make people happy, I am getting married for myself.' And we broke up," she said.
Were you not afraid of staying alone, especially as the years went by?
"The fear of staying alone existed, I won't lie. It means spending Sabbaths alone, or visiting friends and returning to sleep alone. Especially as the years went by and around me friends were already married, had children, and built families, and I was single. But for me, this fear was never a good enough reason to choose a person who wasn't right for me just because society dictates it. I met quite a few good men. I can't say about someone that he was bad, because I won't speak ill. They were just not good for me. Each one had his own story, and the puzzle didn't connect with me."
What helped you cope with this period?
"Precisely in these years, I became very strong in faith. I would go almost every day to Torah classes. I am a devoted student at Rabbi Yigal's weekly class, I went to classes by Rabbi Snir Gueta, who gave me a different perspective, and Rabbi Yitzhak Fanger in a regular class on Thursdays, which brought a smile to my face. Instead of going out and partying in pubs and restaurants and feeling empty, I would return home enlightened. I learned to look differently even at things that didn't work out for me. Not to see every acquaintance that ended as another failure, but to believe that what isn't mine simply clears space for what is. People thought I had gone crazy, because I would prefer to go to a Torah class and not go out."
At the same time, you also built a very independent life for yourself. Did that affect your relationship?
"I built a business and became a very independent and busy woman, who nurtures herself with studies and personal development. Everything in my life was managed in a diary. At a certain stage, I realized that I say I want a relationship, but in practice, I built such a full life that I almost didn't leave room in it for a man."
And then Ran entered your life. How did that happen?
"A friend introduced me to Ran and said to me: 'Try.' The first time I saw him was on October 6, when I arrived at my parents' for Simchat Torah. I remember that I traveled to the family that day with a very strange and strong feeling that something was about to happen, something in the country.
The next day we were already barely talking and it didn't progress. I was already used to meeting and then everyone continues on their way. After a period, we returned to talking, we scheduled to meet and didn't meet. We disconnected. We returned to talking, we went on a date and disconnected again. In retrospect, this is one of the things that is most funny and moving to me in our story. My husband already entered my life, left it, returned to it, and I still didn't know that it was him."
What changed the time it really started to progress?
"After a few months, we returned to talking again, only this time we decided to get to know each other differently. Fewer fancy dates and fewer attempts to impress, more old-fashioned dates – to talk, to get to know, to connect, and to really see the soul of the person in front of me. And this time I did something else that wasn't typical for me: I didn't tell any friend. I was like an open book, telling everything. After years when everyone knew I was the single one, asked, tried to introduce me, and waited to hear that there was already someone, I wanted to take all the background noise out of this relationship. We just went out quietly, until the moment arrived when I felt that I could already tell: I have my husband."
And today, after you got married at 41, what is your message to women who are still waiting?
"If there is something I would want a single woman to take from my story, it is not a promise that tomorrow you will find love. It is something else: don't let the fear of age, of being alone, or of what people will say choose your life for you. Invest in yourself, in your inner self, in self-love. Because only we are responsible for our lives, and all the good will come."
